At a loss about what to do for someone's birthday? Do you have a pile of old magazines sitting around? Problem solved! Spend some time flipping through the magazines and cutting out anything that strikes your fancy - I usually cut out things that I think are funny or just plain bizarre. Then, once you've amassed a big enough stash, lay all the bits you've cut out on a big table (or some floor space) and try to find some sort of narrative you can piece together with the cut outs. The result, I've found, is always pretty amusing (in large part because it's somewhat nonsensical, haha). Here are three cards I've made doing this:
Jason's 21st Birthday Card
JASON, Here you are! So grown up! You've gone through all those Growing Pains, the teenage years Feeling the Pinch, Lost in Space, but you're here: The Next Frontier: 21! You're almost ready to go out into the WORLD, make some [pic of coins]; do some Virtual Skulduggery with your Computing with Quantum Knots and all the other sweet computer science things you can do. Things might get Tough, so here's some (rather random) advice:
Focus on the Future - but don't forget us, 'cause we love you; for your wanderings in girl-hood remember Brains Conquer Beauty, so From Brain to Heart should be your motto (though a little romance here and there probably doesn't hurt); SCIENCE is the catalyst/TECHNOLOGY is the application/BUISNESS is the opportunity, (whatever that means); be the forefront of the revolution, an Island of Resistance, resistance to the evils of the world, because you are Super!; always make sure you are Standing Up to Dance and Sing (I've seen the open-mic pics --> woot woot!);
have lots of fun with [pic of chimera?] on a Plane; read lots of cool books like Sex, Drugs, & DNA, Bones, Rocks, Stars, and Pleasurable Kingdom (so... educational? ...yummy...); And most importantly, NEVER FORGET THE QUEST! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <3 Kelly. P.S. I lost the game. =(
Ginelle's 20th Birthday Card
Learn the story behind history's most influential Cell (aka GINELLE). Mother of All Cells, A cell of infinite possibilities, SO SMALL, GREW SO LARGE, Beyond the Standard Model, The Future of Humankind [pic of... an outdated lineage of bone marrow stem cells? haha, this thing is wrong - adipocytes and osteoblasts come from mesenchymal stem cells, we know that now. Oh, how far research comes in just a few years.] [pic of some cell-like beings running a firetruck?]
a fighter, REGULAR QUESTIONS ASKED: WHY SO SMART? Why is she so attractive? REGULAR OR PREMIUM? Happy Birthday, Wonderful! <3, Kelly
Mom's Birthday Card 2012
March, The Season for THE MOST IMPORTANT WOMEN - a VERY SHORT LIST: La Mama NELLY. "IMAGINATIVE AND OFTEN THRILLING," Recognized by NASA, Certified by the Space Foundation [Space logo], "INVIGORATING," "LUSH AND EVOCATIVE," "COMPLETELY ELECTRIFYING," "The NON-Silent Type," "MORE OF THIS IS DEMANDED, NOT REQUESTED," "33% BETTER THAN FOOD"
DISCOVER THE FOCAL POINT OF THE quest: In all Circles of Life Something extraordinary must have happened. Perhaps a fire? Or a flood? Whatever it was, A new kind of movement takes the quake out of earthquake. Archaeologists uncover a remarkable time capsule of life - NELLY. In the Zone, They'll Risk Everything TO PROVE THE GENIUS of the multi-tasker bibliophile word nerd prodigy. With or without Veins Made of Cotton Candy, Researchers have already placed Mathematics in a Bottle. You CAN'T REIN IN THEIR CREATIVITY TO FIT INSIDE SOME ARBITRARY BOX. "I love the fact that we're doing real, potentially very important science on a shoestring," one researcher says. "All with ANONYMOUS DONATIONS (HERE'S 2 BUCKS)."
"OH SAY, YOU CAN SEE!" another exlaims. "Nature uses only the largest threads to weave her patterns, so each small piece of her fabric reveals the organization o the entire tapestry!" After a near mental breakdown, A vague, frustrating symptom gets a precise explanation with the new favorite equation: style + SCRABBLE = LOVE! The quest is finished! (It's our secret.) C'mon, Get Happy!
NOW, some food for thought. No matter what defines you... How far out of whack your life gets... always remember that I love you. So GRIN AND DREAM A LITTLE DREAM, GAZE AT GORILLAS, Get Rich off the Weather, ~make the world a library~, Power Your House with Pond Scum... Just beware the joy OF COOKING. You don't want to be Spiced to Death. Nutmeg: Sure, it's delicious when sprinkled over eggnog, but in larger doses nutmeg can be deadly. In fact, consuming more than one tablespoon can bring on hallucinations, thanks to the dangerous chemical myristicin. But before you start experimenting with this gateway spice, be warned: The same amount can also cause vomiting, heart palpitations, and death. =) Good-bye! LETTER FROM, KELLY.
As I said, the "stories" are somewhat nonsensical, but what else can you expect from random magazine clippings? They make me laugh, and I hope they make others laugh, too. It usually takes me 2-3 hours to make one of these cards, but I think they are worth it. :)